Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
