i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
