I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
