this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
false alarm. still invincible.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
