i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
