Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize