i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
