WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
