the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
