whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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