he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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