Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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