Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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