Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
