why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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