I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.