if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.