Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
