I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
