Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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