You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize