Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
