u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
