is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
