So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Randomize
