No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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