There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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