stop calling my apartment porn island.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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