she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
