my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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