Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
