I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
