how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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