I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
