yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
