Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
