just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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