Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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