i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
