there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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