My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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