i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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