He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
