If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series