the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.