hell yes lets make some ravioli
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
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My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
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I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?