Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
