no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'