you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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