Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere