I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Randomize
