K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
