Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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