I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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