At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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