He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
