i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
My balls are so social today.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
