i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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