Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize