Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
