Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
