whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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