i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
