well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
