I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
