So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
