To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize