I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize